Hello Everybody I’m Your Man Steve Harvey

Alan Johnson
5 min readOct 6, 2018


It’s unlikely that there’s not a grain of truth in the harsh social media criticism about Steve Harvey. Especially by us. Just like there’s hardly a harsh criticism that doesn’t hold at least a grain or maybe even a waterfall worth of truth about any of us.

Still Steve Harvey is the Man.

I take you back to the Steve Harvey Show

You know you loved it.

The show was a clinic on how to run a school for us by us.

It’s simple really. Like Everett Roberts proves over and over again in real life, all it takes is love, real concern, and a Blackfoot printed curriculum.

Granted the Steve Harvey show was not like the undisputed Black footprint that Marva Collins whipped out on Jim and Jane Crow. Or like the Black footprint that Dr. Steve Perry, Jalen Rose, and LeBron James have whipped out to counter Jim and Jane Crow’s institutional designation and ongoing suppression of such rhetoric and efforts as Black Identity Extremist (BIE) today.

Still, even humor and music must in real time be guided by intelligently caring adults who preferably reside inside or who are in walking distance of their school.

Now for $500s I can go into just about any city and be pretty close to accurately identifying every Black person who should be paid like Jim and Jane Crow to run our schools as good as or better than Steve Harvey’s fictional account of reality had done.

Better still, along with using Marva Collin’s Black footprint, a toned down Keenan Ivory Wayans’s and Katt William’s perpetual candle-like humor, and Dr. Perry’s you sorry teachers and parents aren’t sorry you’re just intentionally ill-equipped but don’t worry much or follow me but do walk with me as I and others chase and are chased by your own families, friends, and kids love of excellence.

“Please try to remember that what they believe, as well as what they do and cause you to endure does not testify to your inferiority but to their inhumanity.” James Baldwin

Better still, follow up with your man Steve Harvey.

Steve Harvey’s success was built from the life of a fuck up who decided not to be the early in life fuck up that contributed to his homelessness and inability to effectively spread love and care anymore. Like most faults it was personal.

Faults aside, always. For if you live a city or left a city where the schools are failing that means that you, your friends, enemies, and others have failed to fix it.

Although it isn’t, even if fixing our schools is one of the government’s only legal job the FBI has announced that it is out to get all BIEs. That means you, me, and a whole lot of other well-meaning people.

This time they didn’t even bother to lie about BIE being some part of community destabilization to combat the drugs that they brought in. No instead they insulted even the kkk’s low intelligence and called it a fight against domestic terrorists. You know, MLK and NAACP-like people or anyone else fighting for a justice and fairness that doesn’t sustain or include White supremacy.

Yep, that’s what they called MLK and Nelson Mandela. Terrorists.

People who had every human right to fight state-sponsored terrorists were called terrorists by the very people whose only legal job was to help MLK and NAACP-like people handcuff and crush with protected love rhetorically and physically violent White people. Be they neighbors, family, police, firefighters, church members, or otherwise.

But since the FBI has labeled one of the only maybe 4 or 5 ethnic groups in America who weren’t terrorists then or now terrorists again, you now have again the same people who should be countering the FBI’s White Supremacy message with a love for the people who loved what MLK and Mandela were fighting for with flaws and all.

None of that has anything to do with 2018’s midterms.

The midterms are not about getting rid of racist germs.

Getting rid of racist germs is not a viable option anyway. For the very people who ought to be helping us get rid of racist germs are talking about and openly prioritizing issues that will not even provide a hint of helping us by 2019 or even by 2050.

Immigration, $15/hr., LGBTQ, taxes, etc. None of those popular platforms will do for us what about 4 or 5 of us in each city can do for us right now.

Pay me my overdue $500s and dangle a starting budget of $1.5 million and I will provide at least 5 people in Flint, MI or Valdosta, GA who can turn an entire school system around in our favor.

The politicians won’t like it but by allowing us to be called BIE they have established that they already don’t care for MLK, Mandela, Jesus, or us.

The better part of all of that is instead of paying me my overdue $500s there are at least 4 or 5 people who are close to nearly every failing school system who can do the same.

It’s not just Jalen Rose and LeBron James who carry on the tradition of the Black Footprint for educational excellence. All this particular educational Black Footprint requires is love and a no strings attached starting budget for a 2019 pilot program. And since that program would just be piloted by the already established Black Footprint, by 2020 we will be kicking Jim and Jane Crow’s arse again like we usually do.

Sure, the people we like and need will continue to be called terrorists. So let us be clear. We will terrorize Jim and Jane Crow through high competitiveness. With love we will surpass all state and federal education standards with ease.

Therefore, it will probably be Katt Williams who will be delivering our terms during this midterm while your man Steve Harvey has to stifle a laugh at your midterm pushing racist arses.



Alan Johnson

Africula is a story about a non-biting vampire who lives in Detroit. Finally starting to get my abs back, the older I get the longer it takes. Oh, well