A HORRIBLE PERSON OR AUTHORITY IS HARDLY EVER TO BLAME
By Alan Collaboration for REPARATIONS Johnson
May 30, 2020
I learned very late in life that in any relationship you can never blame a horrible person, people, or authority for virtually anything. The horrible person, people, or authority are in your life because you ignored the signs, you were practical or impractical and compromised. You kept or keep on finding excuse-laden reasons to be there and maintain some deep or shallow aspect of a relationship with them despite all of the horrible outcomes.
The truth about any relationship can be found in the outcomes. When horrible outcomes are not immediately corrected then you are solely responsible for either maintaining or destroying that relationship. How you decide or do not decide will determine who deserves blame.
You might have been born into that horrible relationship or dated your way into it. The horrible relationship might be official and authority based. Either way your own string of decisions is the reason the horrible person, people, or authority were or are able to be horrible to you or were or are able to continue being horrible to you; all while experiencing little to no significant level of oppositional distress themselves.
You cannot coddle the horrible and then not consider your own self to be horrible. You are in fact actually worse. Horrible outcomes need you and others like. You and others like you do not ever need horrible outcomes but your own behavior says differently.
Horrible outcomes always start with or are sustained by a string of bad or horrible decisions. Horrible outcomes can only survive with your own string of consistently bad or horrible decisions.
You cannot decide to be with a person or people (or in any way honor an abusive authority) and then call yourself an innocent person or victim when it is you and people like you who have consistently made the worst decisions about the ongoing status of your relationship with that horrible person, people or authority.
Your participatory presence is what feeds them and confines you to the worse. Your non-participatory absence starves them and frees you for the better.
Not sometime. Every time. Even if you don’t recognize it at the time.
So if that is not a clear, untrickable, and sustainable plan to you horrible people or authorities will continue to do the horrible planning for you.